Too worried about hurting my wife

I have been married to my wife for 4 years now, however we have been together for almost 13 years. We have two children together, an 11 year old and an infant. I promised her when we got married that we would have another baby, and she really put the screws to me about a year ago to have another. The love has been gone however from our relationship for a while now. We love each other, but we are more like roommates or just family, not lovers. Her parents are still married but they are not close at all and don't share a bedroom, and thats the idea of marriage she grew up with, so I guess she feels our relationship is normal. I have never cheated on her, nor would I. However she has cheated on me before we were married, so I guess it doesnt count. Perhaps it was somewhat my fault. Idk. I don't think she ever would now that we are married.

Anyway, I want to get divorced, and it has nothing to do with another woman, or wanting to be with other women. Its just that we want different things out of life. I know I don't make her happy and well... she doesnt make me happy. The sex is awful, and she doesn't really care about that aspect of a marriage. We are very different people with different views on how life should be and what we want out of life.

Before you suggest counseling know that we have done all that. We have seen 3 counselors in our 13 years together, talked about all this, put in all the work to make things better, but nothing works, at least not long term.

I have been considering divorce for a while, but i don't have the stones to do it. I am to concerned with my wifes well being than my own. I don't want to hurt my wife. I don't want to break her heart and I know she would feel scorned bigtime. My friends tell me I am more concerned with other peoples feelings than my own, and I should start living for myself and my happiness. I know they are right. We only get one life. But when it comes to action I just don't have the guts to do it.

I need help. I just don't think I can handle the fallout after telling her I want to get divorced.

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/considering-divorce-separation/50560-too-worried-about-hurting-my-wife.html

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